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Ya it’s Saturday. But I’m just happy that I finally am able to write at all. It’s obvious I haven’t been on here for awhile and there are plenty of good reasons why. If you are interested in what has been going on you can check it out on my shop blog here. I just really don’t feel like writing that all up again. And also I don’t want to relive some of those feelings I had while writing it.
So now it’s time to do this confession thing. It will be pretty random, but that’s just who I am.
♥ I can tell that I’ve been struggling hard care lately with the lack of blogging. It has also affected me in pretty much everything else.
♥ I really hate going to funerals. But at the same time I feel that it refreshes me to not take things for granted and to live each day as if it was your last.
♥ Because of this I’m determined to some things I’ve been wanting to do. Just because I want to. Like learning new languages.
♥ My plans are to study Spanish, French, and Italian.
♥ I know very random, but I have my reasons.
♥ I have also been reevaluating bigger things in my life. Like to not worry about what others thing so much anymore. I won’t lie, I hate making enemies. But sometimes no matter how much you try to make things right or how nice and giving you try to to be, sometimes those people are just plain dicks and don’t deserve YOUR friendship anyway. So really, quit forcing it. Move on to people that do care and focus on making every moment count with them instead.
♥ Regarding my last comment, I am VERY thankful for the people that I do talk to. Everyday. You mean the world to me. I love you I love you I love you. You make everything run so much smoother and have this charm that always seems to make me smile. YOU ARE AMAZING.
♥ Also I’ve had to make some very big decisions to cut certain people out of my life. It was difficult. If I am going to try and have a happy life, I can’t have their negativity poisoning every moment. I can’t have them twist my every word into something bad when really it’s not like that, but they refuse to listen. I can only try so much. I can only give so much to you before I can tell it’s taking a toll on MY family life.
♥ It’s really hard to be motivated to do anything when you have two major events happen in a row. I know that I will bounce back and I’m hoping that it will kick in soon. I can tell that in ways I’m trying to fake certain feelings, but really…….it will only get me so far.
♥ I have a lot of major changes I need to make in my life, but I’m a little overwhelmed where to start.
I can’t promise right now that I’ll be better at blogging. I’m still grieving in ways of losing two people so close together. One through cancer and one because differences in opinions has torn us apart. I think in ways I’m still in shock and numb, but I know that today I am better than where I was last week. And I know next week I’ll be better than I am today. I have a wonderful opportunity that I’m hoping will happen. And if I do I will for sure be sharing the good news. This will probably be the best news I’ve had all year.
Regarding my ankle issue, it looks like I WON’T be getting surgery. I have nerve damage that we are trying to work on in other ways. I’m also going to physical therapy and that seems to be helping. Even though I’ve only been twice.
Now it’s time to start my day. And to find the motivation to get me off of this incredibly comfy couch. Every time I try to get up it seems to suck me back in. (But then I remember I have some shopping to do and it seems to make everything easier) 😉
Goodbye for now. I hope you have a great weekend.
I don’t talk about my dad much. It’s uncomfortable and it takes a lot for me to uncover that part of myself. I don’t think I’ve allowed anyone in my life to really know that side of me because it seems too difficult to discuss.
Why am I bringing it up now?
Because I have this friend. She is just……lovely….amazing……strong………..and I truly admire her.
Today she said that her dad is going to get this HUGE award and family are able to attend, but because of flight tickets, it’s hard to scramble money that fast. But as a girl and having your father in your life, it just feels important to me to have my friend there. I will never be able to attend an award dinner for my father, or see him on another Father’s day, or have him come over and play with my children. I’ve missed out on SO much and it’s truly a sore spot on me. I just felt how important this is to her and I feel as her friends we can pull together to help her see her dad.
Yup. My goal. I figured if about 20 people donate…….oh about give or take $20……it should help…..so….I’m trying. She’s been there for me. Always checking in on me to make sure I’m ok. I know she is going through so much more than I am, but it makes me SO grateful that she is being there for me. I want to do what I can in return.
I know you don’t know her. I highly recommend you read her blog. You will be able to feel her strength and how inspiring she really is.
I don’t expect you to donate money especially for not knowing her. But all of my friends are so dear to me and I would do anything for them.
IF you feel in your heart that you would like to donate anything…even if it is simply $5……….I can’t even begin to tell you how AMAZING that would be. You can go here….
I want her to enjoy this time with her father. I feel that this will help me get out of this depression slump I’ve been in for the last 3 months. It hasn’t been terrible, but….I still feel this will somehow help me feel better knowing she is able to cherish this time with the first real man in her life.
Ya…I know it’s Sunday. Oops. This weekend has been jam packed and even today I’ll be venturing off to family today so I thought that I would squeeze in a little blogging……
♥ I have changed my hair to auburn….again…I don’t know why I went back to blond (*ahem hubby likes it) but with auburn hair, I feel more…….ME. It’s my favorite hair color and have decided that it’s here to stay!
♥ I have rekindled my love for Ebay. I haven’t been on there for so long and now have remembered why I love it SO much! You find the greatest deals on there! And I’m super happy that I just won the cutest vintage owls!!
♥ I wish the person who is bidding against me for those vintage deer would stop because I REALLY want them. Your making this crippled girl VERY sad. (And more competitive.)
♥ I know to some this may sound lame, but I got my first sale last week! I seriously was SO giddy and squealed like a little girl. And I’m happy with how happy my customer was over it. It makes me feel all squishy inside when they write to me how much they love it. I feel making them that happy has officially completed my job.
♥ This snow is seriously making me so sad. Especially when I get a taste of spring for one day and then it gets taken from me. I know everyone feels this way, but doesn’t change the way I feel.
♥ I still want a cat.
♥ I am craving sushi like no other.
♥ I only cried once this week. (Hey, BIG improvement! This medicine has made me more weepy and this week it wasn’t as bad!)
♥ I actually cried because a very dear friend of mine fell off her balcony. 2 stories down. She is ok. Has a broken arm, but is in good spirits.
♥ I am very passionate about my friends. I consider them sisters. Literally.
♥ So it’s like 99.9% that I have to have surgery. And I won’t lie, I am very upset about it. I feel these last 2 months of recovering has been a waste of time.
♥ Inspired from my SIL and hubs, I need to make a bucket list. I never really thought about it much before, but lately I think of all sorts of things I want to do, and I think I really want to start pursuing it. But…I would like to create one.
I hope you all are having a great weekend. So far it’s been pretty good. I saw my dear other crippled friend, I got my hair done, was able to go out to the movies with some friends of ours, relaxing time with the hubs, and will be going to a fun family dinner tonight. I love weekends like this.
Much love to you!
♥ xoxo ♥
No, I’m not trying to sound like a jerk. I really thought we had a chance. We were doing SO great. But at the end, this thought popped in my head. I was sad to see them lose. I was also sad because The Jazz has been through a lot this year and even though I haven’t followed sports very much this time, (been lost in a lots of other things!)I felt because I was there, I needed to root for my home team.
Here we are on our way to see the Jazz/Lakers game. (I have a problem with accidentally cutting off his face in pics. Oops. ) I forgot how much of a nightmare it is to find parking. Let alone handicapped parking for my poor crippled foot.
Finally after finding some ok parking, the hop in was quite the challenge. I’m getting to the point of being a pro on my crutches so walking in wasn’t at bad as I thought. It was just tiring. But then…..we got to the stairs. WOW. We sat in the upperbowl I was convinced that I would walk up with my crutches, but my hubs was convinced it would take another hour we didn’t have. So I ended up getting a piggy back ride up the stairs. I felt guilty. His poor back has been through SO much and carrying me UP A FLIGHT OF STAIRS is not an easy task. But I have to say, it was cute seeing all the reactions he was getting for being so brave.
This seems SO far away. So now you have an idea how going up those stairs was quite the task. But after finally settling down in our seats, I didn’t realize how much I would appreciate and yet hate my right ear. Weird? I know. But as I was going to talk about in my previous post, I had an opportunity of sitting next to “Utah” Lakers fans. I know it’s fun rooting for the teams you like and bla bla…but Derek and I have this thing about rooting for your home team because….well…it’s YOUR home team.
But during the game I was quickly realizing that my poor ear was going to be in pain for the rest of the night. My left ear was great because Derek was sitting on the left side of me.
But I ended up sitting next to the LOUDEST Laker fan there. My ear was aching. He wasn’t just cheering….it was like someone was getting massacred and he was either a witness or doing the massacring. And he wouldn’t stop. Even when there wasn’t much going on, he kept going. My head was swimming with ideas of telling him to take it down a notch or just deal with it because we were having fun. Luckily at this time the lortab officially hit my system and I was able to bear with it a little more.
Even though Derek was super tired, I was in constant pain with my ankle and my ear slowly starting to bleed, we did enjoy ourselves very much. We even had the opportunity to see John Stockton there. And I even was able to sneak a pic of him smiling!!!! See!!
It was SO nice to get out of the house and it NOT be because I’m going to the doctors. Sometimes I forget what it’s like out there because me and my couch have ended up best friends. I’ll be SO glad when I can have everything back to normal. I felt like I was going to die with all that walking on my crutches. I even had to take a couple breaks because my hands and leg were starting to give out on me.
So friends and family, send all your healing rays! I need to heal!!
Hope you all have a great weekend!
♥ xoxo ♥