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If you have a weak stomach, don’t read this. If you feel sick after this, too bad for you!
So this is the story of my 28th birthday. First off, I can’t believe that I am 28! That seems so weird to me that all of these years have flown by. OK enough small talk. On with the story!
So Derek took me out to Red Lobster for my birthday. I was so excited because come on, it’s Red Lobster. You wouldn’t believe how much I was able to put away. First off I am 5″2, 110 pounds or whatever, I don’t really know or care, but I’m pretty small and for some reason this night I was able to pack a lot away. I had 3 rolls, 3 cokes, half of an appetizer and 95% of my entire meal. And I wasn’t even sick. Or full. I felt great and I was excited to see what else what he had in store for my birthday evening!
We got up and walked outside in the freezing cold towards his truck. Not even 2 minutes later, (Literally, NO exaggerating) I said uh-oh and turned and puked all over their pretty rocks they had neatly layed out on the side of the building. This was no little puking either. I was hoping to keep it as lady like as I could. Ya right. I probably puked as much as a 300 pound drunken man. I mean, it was a LOT! Even Derek was kinda impressed. Worse is that I couldn’t stop this freak puke burst. It was getting everywhere and he had to drag me over to the grass because it was starting to go into the parking lot. Even after going to the grass my body kept on going. Then to make matters worse, someone pulled up right behind us (there were plenty of other spots available, but no. They had to park by me) I apologized for them seeing me and we finally drove off. So for the rest of the night I stayed at Derek’s house sick. Ya, it totally rocked. It was totally awesome to have my boyfriend witness something so incredible come out of his little girlfriend. Hopefully I made him proud.
Maybe next years birthday will go better. 
Seriously why? I’m sorry, but there are a lot of women out there who have horrible bathroom ettiquite and this my friend is NOT helping! I’m going to pee and I really don’t want you in the stall next to me telling all about miss Betty Bop doing you-know-who. When you are at home, whatever, pee away on the phone. But at work please use some common sense. At work there is hardly any quiet time and at least using the bathroom is some type of settle down time. But then you have to come strolling in and ruin it for the rest of us. Then you don’t even bother to wash your hands. Yuck. Who knows what kind of germs are living on your phone. As far as I know, you are one giant germ yourself.
Next time you think about going into the bathroom with your germ infested phone and talk about Betty Bop again, I will trip you.
When I think of endurance, usually the first thing that comes to mind is the shirt that Napolean Dynamite wore that said endurance. It makes me laugh everytime. But on a serious note, how much endurance can a person go through before they actually feel that they are going to break?
I just found out that my brother and his wife are getting a divorce. I’m not going to lie, it hit me very hard and I did not take it lightly. They have been married for 11 years and they are one of those couples that just seem to mesh in every way. I am sure they have endured through a lot and just felt that it was time to move on. As much as it’s hard to see this, I believe that everything happens for a reason and they know what they are doing.
I understand the whole divorce thing. Especially when kids are involved. It’s not easy, but sometimes it’s just one of those things that just has to be done. After so much time of enduring through the marriage and you both realize there is no progression, that’s when you feel it’s time to say enough’s enough. It’s not fair to you or your kids to drag things out when there is nothing left. I wish that I could say that I was lucky to still be friends with my ex, but I don’t think I would want to if I could. Unfortunately he is one of those people that seem to drag you down and then everything else in your life spirals out of control. Luckily my brother and his soon-to-be-ex-wife are still friends. I don’t want to know why they are getting divorced. I want to base my opinions on my own with what I experience with them.
Life is full of surprises. Sometimes it’s such a pain in the neck to keep enduring with all of this crap that seems to pop up, but this is what makes you who you are. This builds your character and even though it doesn’t seem like it now, in a few years you will see the person that you have become. Good or bad.
I know that I owe some pictures and stories about California, but something scary happened to me last week that has pushed it all back. It’s also going to take a few for me to get the pics from my camera onto here. That will be my next goal. For now I’ll talk about how I was basically starving and was dehydrated for about two weeks or so. I can’t remember exactly. These past few weeks have been horrible.
So I got on some medicine for ADHD and depression. I was put on Straterra and Depakote. Usually I don’t have bad side effects to medicine, but holy cow this stuff is definitely NOT good for me. Straterra makes you lose your appetite. That was pretty tough on me because anyone that knows me knows how much I LOVE FOOD. I get teased all the time about how I should weigh 800 punds because of how much food I can shovel in this mouth. So basically I was getting to the point where I was only eating once a day. If that. It sucked. And when I was in Disneyland I hardly ate. That’s one of the best things about going there is for food.
Ya. I was mad.
Depakote was making me naseous. It wasn’t until a week and a half after being on the medicine that I got really sick. I started to puke everyday without control. What was worse, I wasn’t able to eat much so it was like I was puking up nothing. I tried to drink as much as I could, but apparently it wasn’t good enough. After a week of throwing up everyday, this last Friday was the day it really hit me that something was seriously wrong. I was literally throwing up all morning long. I started to throw up blood. Instant panic spread, but I still made myself go to work. I didn’t want to abandon my boss because it was just us two and I felt it was my duty to at least show up. I tried to work, but I kept throwing up in the garbage.
Yuck,
After an hour my boss showed up. He didn’t really look at me while he was coming in, just talking. Finally he looked over at me and I said, “I think I need to go to the Instacare. I’m throwing up blood.” I felt so bad because you could tell that it was processing through his head what I just said.
Then everything started to go fast. We got someone to watch the phones and he took me to a local Instacare. Of course they figured that I was dehydrated and what not and ended up putting me on two liters of the IV drip. And you know after all of this, I still tried to go back to work.
Gotta love medicine. I wonder if anyone else has gone through this with this kind of medicine. I mean, I’m sure they have if not worse, but that was so horrible to even experience. I know that it scared everyone including me. I didn’t even care about being chastized by my doctor. I wasn’t staying on that crap anymore.
At least 3 days after being in the instacare, I’m finally getting my appetite back.
And anyone that knows me knows how happy I am about that!
Oh ya….anyone who is into seafood, let your mouth water!!! I know mine is…….
This coming Wednesday I am flying to California to play in Disneyland for 4 days. I haven’t been there since I was 14 and I was always with family so this will be nice. My boyfriend and I wanted to do something cool for our year anniversary so we figured, Disneyland would rock. The thing that sucks is since I haven’t been since I was 14, and they had to add all of this cool stuff to the place, it’s probably going to be a little overwhelming for me. So I guess I best be packing some xanax. Don’t want a panic attack.
This is so sad and pathetic to admit, but I seriously can’t remember the last time I’ve been on vacation. I’m hoping that I can get some really crazy pictures of people out there. Which I know I will. I like how different everything is in California. I mean compared to Utah. Utah has it’s unique side, but not like California.
Oh and speaking of pictures, some people don’t believe me that I’ve actually been getting some sun. Well, you will see in a few days that I’m not the white girl you once knew. In your face. I’ll be posting pictures and give updates of our wonderful adventure that we will have fighting crowds at the airport, sitting next to smelly and hairy people, and seeing all of the “creative” people. I’m pretty sure that I can make a fun story out of it.
Until then…….ciao!!!
I’ll be recovering from a family reunion this weekend. Don’t think I’ll have much strength to write anything else after tomorrow. Well I’ve been slacking anyway. Meh…oh well.
Ok, one thing about my relationship is we aren’t really your typical couple who has a “song”, but I told him whether he likes it or not, I’m declaring that we have a song. We both are the biggest dorks and this song just suits us. We love Flight of the Conchords and this song gets us laughing hysterically. I know he thinks that I am a dork for declaring this our song out of all the songs out there, but I don’t care. He gets me.
When your a kid, you always think about being older because you think that when you are older, you have it all. Then as you get into your teens, you are torn from wanting to be a kid and wanting to be an adult. Then when you are finally an adult, you realize the responsibilities you have and wish that you were a kid again. I am 27. Honestly, I am excited to get into my 30’s. In some ways it scares me, but in others, I’m excited to progress. My soul feels older than my real age anyway.
As a kid, I went through more then what a lot of my friends have. But I did have some other friends that have been through more than me. But still, it was a difficult time because I felt that I had no direction. Family life was pretty tough. For me it was difficult to handle. My father decided to take his own life when I was 11. That made me into an adult in many ways, because I was forced to understand something that kids should not have to understand at that age. It wasn’t easy and anyone who really knows me knows what kind of toll that took on my growing up.
In my teens, I was the type where I kept to myself in many ways. I wasn’t really into partying. I liked staying home and drawing. That was my getaway. I didn’t have to explain myself to anyone and it was a true and deep way to get my feelings out on paper. By this time, I had more deaths that I had to deal with and the majority of them was due to suicide. I had the most amazing friends and they never pushed the issue on me. Being in my teens was extremely difficult and I didn’t know what ways to turn. I know that every teen goes through that so knowing that I’m not the only one, is very comforting. Everyone goes through this. Decisions. What road to take.
There are some other things that happened in my teens years I would rather not talk about because it’s too much of a touchy subject and it’s not something I feel that I want to go into detail on here.
Finally. 20 hits. I’m an adult. I thought that getting into my 20’s would be so much easier than being a kid or my teens. Something had to go right. Well, in some ways it did and other ways it didn’t. I was married for about 6 years. That was the toughest time. But, it has made me stronger. I really hated being married. Yes, there were good times, but that is a time period I would not want to relive. The good thing about this was I ended up with 3 amazing children who are my world. Of all the pain, looking at them makes me honestly believe that it was worth it.
I guess thinking of things like this make me look forward to my 30’s. I know that things will not be perfect, and I’m ok with that. I think the main thing that I look forward to is that I am dating an amazing guy who makes me feel complete in so many ways. He loves me and my kids which obviously is a plus. I look forward spending my life with him and learning things from him everyday. I’m not happy with my ex and honestly, I still do have some negative feelings towards him, but I do hope that he can find someone that makes him as happy as my boyfriend makes me. Everyone deserves happiness. I hope that he straightens out because he has 3 kids that he is still responsible for. He still has a life to live. He has had a ton of potential that he has decided to waste, but I hope that one of these days, he can find that potential and use it for making a life for himself.
So, I finally subscribed to Facebook. The only reason why is because one of my friends has been asking me to so I figured, what the heck….So I signed up and wow….. it was a panic attack waiting to happen. I never really was into a lot of people at school. I mean, I had my circle of friends and that’s what I liked. After I got my profile set up and ready, I browsed to see who else was on there. I found so many people that I went to school with and it seriously sent a shiver down my spine. Don’t get me wrong, there were people on there who are the sweetest ever and others I didn’t even know or remember, but the whole idea of High School made me throw up a little in my mouth. I know that for a lot of people it was great. I actually went to two High Schools. The first one was horrible and I vowed that I wouldn’t even go to any High School reunion’s. The second High School was amazing. Amazing teachers, people, everything. Doesn’t mean that I still feel at ease with it. Those were the most horrific awkward years and I have to say that I am really enjoying the adult life much more than High School. Not that 6 years of my life was peaches and cream, but currently I am enjoying it very much. I have 3 amazing kids, and a boyfriend that is just as amazing. I don’t think this is something I would ever want to pause just to go back to that life. I have had horrible things happen in High School and really, it’s just too painful to run into someone to bring that up.
I wasn’t the type that got picked on. I was too angry for that and honestly, people left me alone thank goodness. I just had something taken away from me that and I prefer to leave that in my past.
Sooooo…….anywho……I really gotta say, things rock now. I have come a long way of everything that I have had to experience and in a lot of ways, I feel that I have a 40 year old soul. This has built a lot of character and really, I wouldn’t change a thing.
So for the next year, I am getting my credit monitored for free. I don’t have to worry about only getting my credit information for free once a year, or having to pay a certain amount a month to keep tabs on everything. Normally I would be excited about this because it saves me money, but infortunately, I’m not excited. I just found out that my SSN has been stolen. Some pathetic low life thought it would be awesome to steal a bunch of medical records. I was reading in the paper of how many people that it has affected. It makes me so angry that anything could happen. I know a part that chances may be small, but the issue is there is a chance. Anyone that says not to worry and they doubt anything could happen can kiss my ass. ANYTHING can happen. I have been dating my boyfriend for almost a year and the poor guy had his credit card number stolen TWICE. Even some of my best friends ended up with fraud on their bank accounts.
The funny thing that I was thinking about (I have to make some type of joke because if I don’t, I will go insane. Trust me. Not a good idea.) if they ended up trying to use my SSN to apply for something, good luck suckers. My ex screwed me out of my credit so much, I can’t even get anything. If you are able to, good for you and share me some tips so I am able to get something nice. Otherwise, you will be smart in realizing you aint getting anything out of my social and you will move on. I have a lot of good things going on in my life now, but trust me, you won’t get any from my social. Hopeully they catch this piece of crap and give him what he desreves. Of course, I have a very twisted side and my views of “Getting what they deserve” is considered cruel and unusual punishiment. I would probably be put away just for the thoughts of punishment that I think they deserve.
If I happen to run into that piece of cap who decided it was just oh so cool to steal these, I will plead insanity when it comes to conviction time. Being a single mother with 3 kids, I can almost guarentee that the judge would be on my side.
Wow, I didn’t even realize how long it’s been since I’ve been on here. I finally have a chance tonight to have a little get away. Well, not really. My little ones are doing there own thing so I figured, meh, may as well. A lot has been going on lately, but I’m not really much of going into detail as torturous as that may be. It’s not my style to reveal little details of really personal things and I don’t want to end up saying something I shouldn’t. Or do I?? As tempting as that may be, I won’t. First off, I can’t believe how deprived you feel when you haven’t been on the internet. I don’t want to admit that it’s a serious sign of addiction, but since I live in the day and age of technology, I can’t help but feel a need for them. Even if it is going online. Hey, when you are home with 3 kids, you can’t really go out much so going online is like “going out”. It gives you this need of fulfillment of the outside world when currently the only outside world I get is work. Not that that is a bad thing. There are plenty of fun and interesting things going on at work. Like trying to bribe my co-workers to eat my Reeses Pieces with me so I don’t feel guilty for downing that bag. Share the guilt right?
I seriously feel so much better meeting up with my old friend, the internet. It has been too long my friend and I apologize for my absence. I promise that I will be a better friend and come here more often. Wow….I must be tired. Or it’s because my kids are watching “Pingu” and it’s making me delusional……
