Endurance

When I think of endurance, usually the first thing that comes to mind is the shirt that Napolean Dynamite wore that said endurance. It makes me laugh everytime. But on a serious note, how much endurance can a person go through before they actually feel that they are going to break?
I just found out that my brother and his wife are getting a divorce. I’m not going to lie, it hit me very hard and I did not take it lightly. They have been married for 11 years and they are one of those couples that just seem to mesh in every way. I am sure they have endured through a lot and just felt that it was time to move on. As much as it’s hard to see this, I believe that everything happens for a reason and they know what they are doing.
I understand the whole divorce thing. Especially when kids are involved. It’s not easy, but sometimes it’s just one of those things that just has to be done. After so much time of enduring through the marriage and you both realize there is no progression, that’s when you feel it’s time to say enough’s enough. It’s not fair to you or your kids to drag things out when there is nothing left. I wish that I could say that I was lucky to still be friends with my ex, but I don’t think I would want to if I could. Unfortunately he is one of those people that seem to drag you down and then everything else in your life spirals out of control. Luckily my brother and his soon-to-be-ex-wife are still friends. I don’t want to know why they are getting divorced. I want to base my opinions on my own with what I experience with them.
Life is full of surprises. Sometimes it’s such a pain in the neck to keep enduring with all of this crap that seems to pop up, but this is what makes you who you are. This builds your character and even though it doesn’t seem like it now, in a few years you will see the person that you have become. Good or bad.

I don’t care what you think!

For those who don’t know too much about my personal life, you will probably be lost in this post. But if you still enjoy it, than good I guess. But anyone with half a brain will pretty much get what I’m saying and what this is about. my intentions here are not to bad mouth anyone, but if I start venting, I am not going to name name’s because I am not here for slandering. I could if I really wanted to and yes, I could get really mean, but I am not like that. The person that this is towards to probably doesn’t even know about this site and probably has never been on here. But if this person happens to run across here, good for you.

I know that you think you are doing so much better than I am, but you are so far from the truth. I find it sad that you feel you have the need to make me look like the one who is failing when it is YOU that chose to go the other route. You have no idea how hard I have been working to heal myself from all the damage that you have done. I really don’t care even if you did have an idea. You can continue to live in that sick little world of yours and think that everything you “supposedly” know is right. I don’t care. You know why? Because I am making something out of myself. I have a job that I am doing incredibly well at and if you knew how much I was making, boy, blood would be boiling and I would secretly enjoy that. I was able to get out of enough debt to get a new car. BY MYSELF! I am a good mother dammit and I don’t really give a rats ass if you think I am or not. Your past does not erase everything that has happened. I know people make mistakes. I hope one of these days you will be big enough to pull your head out of your ass and realize that people can overcome from their mistakes, grow up and move on. i wish that you would grow up and stop blaming me for YOUR mistakes.  Yes, there is a lot of bitterness. but I don’t let that rule my life. I have a lot to live for and 3 lives that depend on me. We are best friends and living our life to the fullest. I am able to provide for them in ways that you never can or will. I hope that one of these days you will grow up, be responsible and be part of their lives. They deserve to have the best of both worlds. I am happy for you that you found someone. REALLY. I hope you have learned from your mistakes and treat her better than you treated me. I hope that she brings out the best in you because everyone deserves happiness. Be good to her. Despite what you think, I work my butt off for these kids to give them the necessesities of life. And more. Because they deserve it. I love them more than you would ever know or even comprehend. I don’t care if you believe me or not. Your opinion of me does not matter. This post is to merely get my thoughts out. I mean, that is the whole point of blogging. Good luck to you.
And Leave me alone.